Blog Journal for Station Eleven

 “You're not even listening to me. you never listen to me.” Jeevan knew this was a petty thing to say in the face of a probable  flu pandemic, but he couldn't resist. He plowed the cart into the others and dashed back into the store. ‘I can't believe you left me at the theater,” he said you just left me at the theater performing CPR on a dead actor” (Mandel 24)

In this passage you can feel the frustration from Jeevan, but it also comes from a place of genuine care. Both emotions are so present and cause him to not be thinking rationally and just wants everything to be right and every one to be safe. I believe that the petty words came out of impulse from the intensity of the situation he has found himself in. Oftentimes, when I find myself in stressful situations, I do not think before I speak and I do not understand how impactful words can be. The message doesn’t always get across the way I want it to even if my intentions are pure and I think that this is similarly the way that Jeevan starts the conversation. His intentions were pure and truly just wanted everyone to be safe and understand the gravity of the situation the way that he did.

“I know how paranoid you get,’ Hua said. “Believe me you're the last person I'd call if I thought this was nothing but-” Jeevan  banged the palm of his hand on the door's glass pain. Who had touched the door before him? the driver glared over his shoulder, but let him out. Jeevan  stepped into the storm and the doors switched shut behind him (Mandel 19)

The author here is able to describe a bit of Jeevan’s personality and tells us that he does panic which will probably be significant later on. Although he is trying to stay calm, his brain goes into autopilot trying to protect him and in this situation paranoia is protection.  I think that during the beginning of covid we were all in this same boat of trying to protect ourselves and the ones we loved, so no matter how calm we were trying to stay, the paranoia was there to keep us safe. It is not a fun situation to be in because there is so much that is unknown, and you don’t quite know or understand fully what is going on, you are just going off of the little information you have. By being paranoid you are not necessarily panicking, more so just aware of everything and what is truly at stake in this situation and trying  to find out what the next steps are going to be. 

My life was impacted by the covid pandemic in many ways. My high school career was far from normal, we didn't get a normal prom, had homecoming dances taken away and normal activities like going to football games had been taken away from us. Over half of my high school years were not normal due to the pandemic. My first job I had to be socially distanced and wear a mask. Had the covid pandemic been as bad as the Georgian flu, I would have missed a lot from my previous life. I am someone who loves hugs and being around people and without that I would feel so isolated I would go insane. It would be the little things that I would miss the most, like late night drives with my friends, early morning softball games, and going out to restaurants with my sister. These things I often took for granted and without them I would lose a sense of security and love for life and people.